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Calling The Beloved

For you my Belovedholding-hands

I receive these songs of LOVE

Easy feeling natural with you near

& feeling your loving me dear

~ My romantic dream is as ancient

as a ruined Castle

The stones everlasting

The form ever changing

The content never lost

To me my dear come

come home and hold

this worthy heart

in your strong and kind hands

~ Our life together is

Like a bridge connecting our dreams

soul advocates we meet there

in between embrace and

make the journey to

the depth of our shining hearts

Towards one another

beyond self

at times frightened and stil

yearning to pass through

beyond my clinging and self preservation

Surrender to union.

 

 

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I was not looking for you

I could turn and run the other wayKauai94Janet

But the very act of your confession

To a woman whose heart

is tender and raw

Has me turning towards you

Wanting more

 

In not needing you

I am free and can make

my own confession

And if you turn away

I will blow into your heart

And gracefully sigh

If you stay facing me

I will smile and cry

 

Something tells me this is not another folly

Both reaching for the courage to risk again

And perhaps encounter in ourselves

A capacity for grown up loving

Advocating for one another

In the church of sky

a friend ship built

On ferocious commitment to

Remaining in our truth,

To spiritual growth

Rest and reliance

 

I do sense I am not the only terrified one…….

Oh my goddess

Do you want to have some more fun?

 

Be safe be free

 

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Innocence

I ended up staying home!  AAAHHHH long hot bath, tea, a good book….. then as everyone was out…. the the other homes were not really calling to me…..wait…. no one is here!  some room to breath… some precious just me time…..

I have, for my life time, flourished when my relating and adventure is frequently interspersed with generous alone time…… in the company of nature, in my youth climbing the grand oaks, exploring the creek side trails of my southern California homeland, reading writing, wondering. Tonight is just a wandering, Being and a doing what ever presents itself. Feeling into the environment, my home, I was called to do just a little unpacking of my inheritance that arrived earlier this week.  Grand boxes and antique furniture, mirror boxes with nostalgia and treasured art pieces.  It is all stacked around my home awaiting integration….

Look what was reveled. my innocence.       image

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something relaxed and I forgave myself, for just this evening, for not being the perfect mom, the attentive grandmother, never being able to live up to my own mothers grand-parenting….. Just for this eve. I don’t have to promise myself any huge shift, I don’t have to suddenly for ever and ever, be better, more deserving, more likable, less fearful. Just for tonight I can allow a lightness of being and gratitude for an evening in the sweet company of a woman as deserving of love as anyone I know and the mysterious presenting  of new friendship adjacent just here to my innocence.

 

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In the Garden of Grief

Sky in the SKY with beads_briannarose


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In the garden of grief

there beauty blossoms

Some petals the deepest darkest velvet blue

Some pedals Crimson drops falling from my broken heart

And lightest Rose and white the efemoral transient nature of our human Life

The fragrance floating formless that is where

I find you

Sky blue

Every where

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click the photo below to view a short clip of Tashina’s honoring

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The Way We Care – Hospice in Sun Valley

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Under a canopy of green with blue blue summer sky beyond, I am raising a baby robin that fell from a cottonwood in my mom’s back yard.  Mom couldn’t go to sleep that night until she named her “June bird” as this was in the month of June, baby birds abundant above us. This precious robin brought amazement, joy and connection to our lives as we cared for our mom in hospice in her home. June Bird bonded with mom in the most amazing way. Eventually flying to land on her chest and remain there in quietude with her. June hung out for hours with mom in her  hospital bed in the bright sunny corner that is her special place where the world now comes to her. IMG_2296She grew and began to hop hop around and a chirp chirp here and there as she learned to eat worms and explore the green lawn and shrubbery in our safely fenced yard.  June was our midwife for a few weeks in this long, or what seems long, birthing process as my mother finds her way towards and through the “Door way into light”.

 

IMG_2368Still, even I, who is hospice trained and have received many teachings in the Tibetan traditions, training for the time of death and beyond, still I try to find a way around just saying my mom is going to be Dead.  Her body will be empty, never to be animated with us again in this lifetime.  Yes it is true. Perhaps part of my searching through semantics is to reframe what death is for us.  I do like the imagery of “Doorway into light”.  We have many resources at present to support this transformation with in our society.  www.DoorwayIntoLight.org is one of them.  Founded by my dear friends Leilah and Bodhi Be and Ram Das, their home center is on the island of Maui.  May we have the courage, curiosity, and compassion to reach for support and educate ourselves about our options at the time of death, just as we have done with the home birth movement that defined the parenting culture for many of us.   Please visit this site and rejoice with us as we continue to embrace our humanity and our community, creating sacred space for all the doorways;  birth, puberty, marriage, death…… transformation of any kind.

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I am being transformed by the grace my mother displays every day. Her good humor (laughter everyday is her preferred medication) confidence and god given patience as she awaits her ride is showing us the way, our own death inevitable and incalculable.  June bird was just one of the magical chapters in this vulnerable, profound and beautiful journey with my family.  I am grateful and honored to be a member of an amazing, crazy, unique family.  Homage to the Wood River Hospice for your constant perfect support and homage to you Lowie mom, and to each of my siblings.  Xxoo I crazy love each one of you.

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Faith

imageThis churning like butter making the changes, extracting the essence of longing a cry for mercy as I surrender this chapter of my life honor even the horror equal to the kindness oh where oh where this destiny the path of forgiveness shot with bravery arise arise breate the calm and alow a yearning to fertilize my dreams my hope and fear my shadow is like the eclipsed moon slightly lighting my loneliness and illuminating gently the places I might fill fill fill with a tender smile and faith

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Having fun at my desk

 New Business cards. It was time. So much movement in my life.  I really want to get UP and go out to the garden and pick some Kale, Chard, onion, herbs, Basil and a few marigold…..
Having my business partners and beloved friends Isabelle and Rod Fisher for dinner and a love in update for  our wonderful Golden Project, the Golden Lotus Studio and Massage School Kauai
We are into our 2nd year with a sweet group of new students.  Magical how time is and how investment pays off.  I am wishing you well in all of your projects and in sweet love and aloha in your lives.   All blessings from Kauai and please check out my “Blue Room Guest Room”  when you are planning a visit to Kauai or if you need a place in between your Kauai homes.  Big Hugs, eana on a soft Sept eve………..
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another wonder filled day at the Hale! soup recipe included!

Wow it is so good to have a day at HOME.  Puttering, cleaning, making new pages on this site for my sweet rental room. check it out on the rentals tab! AND a fruit picking adventure with my son in law and grand children. Supplying the ohana with mango and avocados.

Hey I also made an amazing soup:

Chicken base, boiled the meat off the bone of a mostly eaten chicken

Then – Vita mix AGAIN… just LOVE this machine!:

blended up some raw broccoli, celery, cumin, red salt, garlic and onion with some of the soup stock

added this green mix to the soup and cooked it up nice and good

added some previously boiled bread fruit triangles mushed up a bit for thickener and substance along with chicken pieces.

served in a bowl topped with feta cheese and a sprinkle of  your favorite hot sauce if desired ( I most always want a little spicy…. )

so ono yummy. Ate it on my lani as the day changed to night.  Feeling good and grateful. Come join me some time.  aloha and blessings, eana

 

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Today from grief to contentment

I woke this morning sobbing with grief, the irony of such with in the wonders of my life making it even more painful.

 Then I hung my laundry among the beauty of the Garden of  Happiness and Contentment and went wandering. Picking fruit and marveling .

Content and grateful, may your day also be so blessed. with love, eana rose

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a valentine for everyday

 

Every Day, eana rose, remember the beloved within.  Forgiveness is the gift of freedom; from past, from fear  and grief. Remember this story of your life IS you path!  Drop the judgement, the resistance, the shame!  NO Blame. ~ You are the Goddess one with all women as the goddess. Inseparable with all the Men. Your Valentine resides witn in and remember “he” will arrive and recognize you when it serves and integrates into  this path of yours.  

LOVE LOVE LOVE IS LOVEISLOVEISLOVEISLOVEIS LOVE